my nature preserve

 There are few things more titillating than a biodiverse nature preserve with a rippling creek, stones, and enough flora and fauna to bring on a sense of euphoria. One can find respite in a cozy little corner of the world, where solitude will heal the stress of your modern-age merry-go-round lifestyle. Even if that place is...in very own back yard.

And why not? Why frame a nature preserve, a slice of peace in a world gone mad, in the middle of nowhere...when it can be in your own 60 x 80 lot? Beyond the 40 x 60 with your domicile and detached garage, there's plenty of room left over for carving out a wild kingdom. 

Why mow the lawn when your back yard can be a botanist's wet dream, complete with every strange species of flowering and non-flowering plant available from the most bizarre of your local garden centers? Why wax poetic with just wood betony and feverfew? Add a healthy dose of Amazonia, Patagonia, and the far reaches of the globe with a variety of various banana plants, some frilly ferns, and brilliant flowers sure to enliven your neighborhood. 

Be the hit of your block by acquiring worldwide treasures with varieties of heather and gorse, Scottish thistles, and Japanese holly. And if you have enough room, why not add a Redwood in the middle of the back yard? It will give you and your descendants hundreds of years of enjoyment, and a deep sense of historical significance. 

Be sure to add a fringe of rhododendrons, azaleas, and flowering laurel, creating your own natural boundary lines. These will help prevent your wildlife from becoming invasive species in someone else's yard. Species that will provide hours of rapturous entertainment are your goal, so why not add a family of ferrets, a Scottish Terrier, and a fishpond? After a year of drought, you can turn that mini-pond into a very useful compost area to add your stray limbs, leaves, and rotten cantaloupe...all while enjoying the benefits of a government-sanctioned nature preserve.

So why not act while the time is ripe...while the flowers are blooming...while the birds are still singing...and before your Yard Nazis invade your poor pathetic lawn with their unprofessional and unconstitutional regulations your grandfathers would have fought a war over to repeal? Spring is here, and summer is coming on, and you must gather your flora and fauna now...before it is too late.